Buhari's Foot and Mouth Disease.

Prior to now, it has been postulated that our dear and darling President, a man who is said to be such a visionary that he is the embodiment of the touted change (perhaps he is a shape-shifter) was a man of great nobility and honour, a veritable bastion of wisdom and integrity. It was said that he was a man who could do no wrong, but whose misdeeds were the work of sycophants and boot-lickers who were so fond of the taste of shoe polish that they told him anything and everything, to ensure that they would keep having unfettered access to his shoes, and of course, certain choice portions of the National cake.
Such stories are wearing thin. Recent events have led to newer postulations in certain quarters that ironically, it is the president who is fond of the taste of shoe polish. How else can it  be explained, that every time he opens his mouth, he winds up putting his foot in it? What else is foot-and-mouth disease, biko?

 

Our Vice President Is Icing Sugar

Sometime ago, In a forum I belong to, I made some statements regarding powerless Christians in the face of the prevailing situation in Nigeria, and how the generation of powerless Christians was led by our very own amiable Vice President, (you know his name). I wondered about the genesis of his pastor-ship, his vice-presidential nomination, and his subsequent relegation to the post of a "commissioner", and his total irrelevance in the scheme of things.

I got a lot of feedback.

Nigeria We Hail Thee

Fifty Seven years ago, a group of men sat in a room; specifically three men. The fan was rotating slowly, the television was on and each of the men had a glass of water by their side. In a couple of days, the great Queen of the world’s most powerful empire in the world was going to declare the independence of their country to the world; in a few days, the Union Jack flag was going to be brought down and the venerable Green and White hoisted up.

Zik, Awolowo and Ahmadu Bello had spent the last few years negotiating Nigeria’s independence from Britain and finally the dream was almost a reality, a great country was being born, just a couple of days more. They looked at each other and smiled…. Wazobia’s great originators sitting in one small room.

Buhari's Country

Nigerians used to suffer and smile but now they suffer and suffer. There’s no limit to our pain anymore. IS ANYTHING WORKING? how can change begin with me when the ‘Oga at the top’ has not changed.  Copying and pasting somebody’s change speech. 'Nwanne' calm down.

Nigerians can like short-cuts...

We like short-cuts, everything we do is basically on the premise that there is a shorter way to any and all destinations. We cut through a bush path in order to get home quicker, we 'hang' PHCN wires when we've not paid our light bills, we always want to jump traffic. I wonder whose fault it is that we lack so much discipline, the people or the government but then the government is the people. Thus, we, the people have ourselves to blame for the chaos that we have immersed ourselves in. These days there are no more long road to success, a student will rather practice '419ing'

Rams in Recession

Seriously what in the name of Beejessuss is wrong with this country? Well, for starters, we are officially in recession, although I for one like many other Nigerians can attest to the fact that for over a year we have been receding towards recession. Prices of everything are soaring high on a daily basis and for what it's worth, the government now has an excuse for anything that goes awfully wrong. Increase in transport fare...Ah it’s the recession, Staple food on the increase...ah, it’s the recession, school fees hike…recession, inconclusive elections?…recession No more 'RAMS' on the block...

It's not Music, It's Ministry, is it?

Our focus today is on God, no, not God...the artists and artisans who claim to dedicate work to him

Upon a time, I attended a vigil, and in the wee hours between when the vigil ended and when we could safely depart, a cheery young man accosted me. Handing me a CD in a transparent pack, he proclaimed it to be a sampling of the tracks from his album, and demanded #200 from me. My confusion was further compounded when he spread his hands like a bird about to take flight, and burst into a rendition, somewhere between a screech and a drawl, of something that can hardly pass for music. The words were garbled, partly by his voice, partly by my inattention, but what stuck out like a sore thumb was the phrase "a thanksful heart" (yes, dear reader, thanksful). I sat in surprise, my hands fiddling in my backpack for my earphones. I was extremely  unhappy. For someone to be belting out such lyrics, and in praise of a Deity who is the giver of creativity, I almost felt insulted on God's behalf.

The level of 'wackness', if you get my drift, was shocking.

A lot of times, so-called Christian musicians and artistes package nonsense, and parade themselves from church to church, peddling mediocrity and passing it off as music, because the pastor will invariably ask the church crowd to buy, because...

The Police are just UGLY

Now i don't know how they recruit these people. A bunch of hard faced, tall and scary looking fellas and females. Have you ever seen a mobile police in their black 'Ray Pens', my people please don't mess with those set of people, they can change your life for good by ending it. 

They just reckless, the way they deal with people and the way they never do things by the book. Have the police ever caught up with you at night when you are driving in your not so expensive car, I tell you that if you look under 40 then it just might be a crime.

APC how far???!!!

This is way too bad. the fact that these people do not have any plan as to how to move the country forward in any way. All the plan they had was about getting into power and boy did they do that!!! they control the majority of the power in the country and still on still we are not only still we are trending backward. It almost looks like we've been cursed. nothing the government does works and if we cant do any better then the 'change ' mantra should be changed to 'deranged' because its crazy whats going on in the country.

The dollar is about #400 in the parallel market, the bag of rice is costlier than the monthly salary of over a million people, no infrastructure, no light, no roads (no minister of works, power and housing?) Hey, there's a train that plies the Abuja-Kaduna route, that's about the only thing that works. the people are still hungry and we do not have options, or do we?

Heaven$ Please

The Bible actually made mention of 144,000 people making Heaven. are we supposed to take that literally, metaphorically or spiritually? I chose to take it literally. there are over 7 billion people inhabiting the earth, not to mention those who are dead and of all those people, only 144,000!!! let me make it clearer; 7,000,000,000 - 144,000 = 6,999,856,000 i.e. Six Billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, eight hundred and fifty six thousand people will make HELL. That's just Sad. unfortunately for the human race, this may just happen. now I'm not sure who'll make heaven, is it just the Christians, what about the Muslims, the Hindus the Buddhists, the Pagans nko? are all these people destined for hell, if so hell will really be crowded. no wonder there will be gnashing of teeth and a lot of body odour. Back to the Christians or should I say 'satians' because they are no longer Christ-like they more like Mr Satan, hypocrites. They say one thing and do another. Just because they've ingrained it upon themselves that God is a merciful God, they use that as an excuse to indulge in all sorts of acts under the cover of darkness because they feel that their God will forgive them. Today, we have business Christians who go to church to exhibit their wealth and not even the Pastors are left out. They talk a whole mouthful during service. they preach 'no adultery, no fornication (now I know why its called lip service) but as soon as their members turn their backs, they take them unawares from behind...at times 144,000 is surely looking like a possibility.

I MUST CHOP RICE THIS YEAR!!!

Well why wouldn’t I? It’s getting worse really, the situation of the country, still Nigerians survive. These Nigerians are really industrious and regardless of what is thrown at them, they manage to come out of it unscathed. We are Nigerians. I am a Nigerian and I must eat rice this year.  Somebody say Amen to that…Damn!!! First it was tomatoes; the price of this particular vegetable sky rocketed to the point that stew was no longer an option, and we opted for Palm Oil. Now it’s the Rice. What in the name of PMB is happening? A bag of rice sells at the moment for #22,000 and that’s f****d up really. I can no longer fathom or even comprehend what the poor masses are to do now that one of their major staple foods is more costly than the basic minimum wage. It’s quite a pity, nevertheless, I still express great optimism that I’ll continue to eat rice regardless of the cost and because I’ll keep hustling and keep striving to survive.